Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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