PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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