you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
