That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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