I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
