This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do vagina's smell?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
