I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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