He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
