I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize