Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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