I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
