The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
