real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
