Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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