do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
