I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize