fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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