You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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