dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
