I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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