:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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