I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
