Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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