Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
