I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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