I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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