I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
