Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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