Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i believe in u and ur pee
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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