Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
