is your mom at the bar?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
