Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
