absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
