Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
