Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
