how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize