i don't like sucking hair
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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