Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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