I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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