You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I enjoy the company of your penis
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
