Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
