Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
