He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this just has baby written all over it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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