Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They are going to name an STD after you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize