The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
