We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
