rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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