he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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