She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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