Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
