Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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