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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
do nipples grow back?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
