Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
