Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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