That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
