I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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