who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
