I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
