I must be too annoying 4 u.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
