how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
