Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've blown a few things in my day
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
