is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
