So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
