...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
