I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
