apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How does one acquire holy water?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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