6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize