i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
