with your own penis?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
