so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
